The seemingly out-of-the-blue suicide of May’s older brother, basketball star and Princeton-bound Danny, just before graduation sends her Chinese American family into a downward emotional spiral. May’s return to attend junior year the following fall is eased by her best friend, Haitian American Tiya Marie, and Tiya Marie’s older brother, Marc. After a white parent’s diatribe blaming the increase in teen suicides on the ripple effect of Asian parents who put too much pressure on their children—referencing Danny without knowing anything about him or their family—May channels her rage into a poem that sparks a “#TakeBacktheNarrative” movement among BIPOC students at her school. There are also plans to protest the school’s new internship program, sponsored by the parent who made the racist remarks. May seeks support from several white students who claim to be allies but won’t commit to hard choices, and she is challenged to consider her own actions—or lack of—on issues that extend beyond her own family and community; she already knows she let Tiya Marie and Marc down when she didn’t understand the reasons behind a protest over the recent police killing of a Black boy. This insightful exploration of social justice activism, allyship, community, and commitment reveals it’s often messy and complicated and that everyone is learning. Running through it all are so many honest feelings about family and friendship, some of them a revelation, as well as May’s grief and her longing to understand why Danny took his own life.  (Age 14 and older)

“A grieving teen fights Asian hate by finding her voice in this complex, timely story.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"With a layered, sensitive voice, Ho’s weighty novel delves into themes of racism, classism, loss, and healing." —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“Inspired by the recent rise in hate crimes against AAPI, Ho’s story of inclusion, diversity, and social action rings true. Maybelline is a multifaceted narrator whose drive to right wrongs and stand up to injustice deserves applause. Ho illuminates both activism and mental health in marginalized communities, showing that even a bright, young achiever can experience depression without anyone knowing.” —ALA Booklist

"A powerful, hopeful YA debut. May’s journey through personal and familial grief is poignant and questions of power and privilege are explored with nuance that will spark conversation among teen readers." —School Library Journal

“This sensitive novel does an impressive balancing act, examining mental illness and its stigma among Asian Americans while weaving in themes of racism and grief. The overarching messages—listening with empathy and seeking help—ring loud and clear.” —The Horn Book

Joanna Ho, New York Times bestselling author of Eyes That Kiss in the Corners, has written an exquisite, heart-rending debut young adult novel that will inspire all to speak truth to power.

Maybelline Chen isn’t the Chinese Taiwanese American daughter her mother expects her to be. May prefers hoodies over dresses and wants to become a writer. When asked, her mom can’t come up with one specific reason for why she's proud of her only daughter. May’s beloved brother, Danny, on the other hand, has just been admitted to Princeton. But Danny secretly struggles with depression, and when he dies by suicide, May's world is shattered.

In the aftermath, racist accusations are hurled against May's parents for putting too much “pressure” on him. May’s father tells her to keep her head down. Instead, May challenges these ugly stereotypes through her writing. Yet the consequences of speaking out run much deeper than anyone could foresee. Who gets to tell our stories, and who gets silenced? It’s up to May to take back the narrative.

Joanna Ho masterfully explores timely themes of mental health, racism, and classism. 

A Bank Street Books Best Children's Book of the Year for ages 14 and older in Family/School/Community and noted for outstanding merit (2023)

A 2025 Evergreen Teen Book Award nominee

"An ornately carved window into the core of shared humanity. Read and reread. Then read it again." —Nic Stone, New York Times bestselling author of Dear Martin

"Powerful and piercing, filled with truth, love, and a heroine who takes back the narrative." —Abigail Hing Wen, New York Times bestselling author of Loveboat, Taipei

“A held-breath of a novel that finds courage amidst brokenness and holds a candle to the dark.” —Stacey Lee, New York Times bestselling author of The Downstairs Girl

“Ho confronts racism with care and nuance, capturing the complexities of grief and growth. A poignant call to action.” —Randy Ribay, National Book Award finalist for Patron Saints of Nothing