After witnessing an act of police brutality against another Black teen, Sadie’s generalized anxiety disorder shifts into a case of severe agoraphobia as she becomes afraid that danger, especially for Black people, is everywhere. Now stuck in the house, Sadie faces a summer of isolation and online therapy. She finds solace in Ruckus, “a TikTok with a purpose” where activists connect to organize and share resources. She regularly goes live on the app to muse on mental illness and Black joy. Sadie, who is bisexual, also befriends and begins to fall for new neighbor Jackson, a transracial adoptee with depression; at first they hang out in Sadie’s back yard, but as Sadie progresses in therapy, Jackson accompanies her on outings in Oakland. With Jackson’s support, Sadie sets a goal: to host an open mic celebrating Black joy before joining a protest against police violence at the end of the summer. This novel in verse offers an honest depiction of mental illness, including the differing responses of Sadie’s family members to her agoraphobia, and her “two steps forward, one step back” progress in healing. Even as she is traumatized by the realistic fear of racist violence, Sadie remains resilient, creative, and driven. (Age 12 and older)

SCHNEIDER FAMILY BOOK AWARD WINNER ● A poignant and lyrical young adult novel-in-verse about a Black teen coming of age in an anxiety-inducing world, from the author of For Black Girls Like Me and In the Key of Us.

I'm safe here.

That's how Sadie feels, on a perfect summer day, wrapped in her girlfriend's arms. School is out, and even though she’s been struggling to manage her chronic anxiety, Sadie is hopeful better times are ahead. Or at least, she thought she was safe. When her girlfriend reveals some unexpected news and the two witness a violent incident of police brutality unfold before them, Sadie’s whole world is upended in an instant.

I'm not safe anywhere.

That's how Sadie feels every day after—vulnerable, uprooted. She retreats inside as the weeks slip by and relies on her phone to stay connected to the outside world. When Sadie’s therapist gives her a diagnosis for her debilitating panic—agoraphobia—she starts on a path of acceptance and healing. Meanwhile, Sadie's best friend, Evan, updates her on the protests taking place in their city. Sadie wants to be a part of it, to use her voice and affect change. But how do you show up for your community when you can’t even leave your house?

I can build a safe place inside myself.

That’s what Sadie learns over the course of one life-changing summer, with some help from her family, her best friend, an online platform for activists, and a magnetic crush she develops for the new boy next door.

From Schneider Family Book Award and Stonewall Honor–winning author Mariama J. Lockington comes Forever is Now, a powerful young adult novel-in-verse about mental health, love, family, Black joy, and finding your voice and power in an unforgiving world.